I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
