I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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