you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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