no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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