I think scott just propositioned me for sex
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
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