made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
21 People Reveal The Most Embarrassing Secrets They Know About Someone
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.