no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
These Are The 21 Strangest Sexual Fantasy Confessions
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY