my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Randomize