i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
