I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
