Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
A bitchslap is in order.