i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
31 People Admit To Nasty Things They Do On The Reg
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
21 Of The Most Regrettable Tattoo Ideas Ever
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks