Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist