My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
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