i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
