Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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