That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Randomize
