oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
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