guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize
