I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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