That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
