where does the pee come out of this thing
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
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