Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
she woke up with a sticky ear
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
