I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
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