that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
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I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
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And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.