pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
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