ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
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Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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