Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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