also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Randomize