I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
