I feel like I'm in dance class right now
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize