This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize