White coat. Heels.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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