you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
