it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
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