sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Randomize
