I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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