I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
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