my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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