O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
