Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
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