I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
