Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
