You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
he fucked my hip out of place.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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