i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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