i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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