brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
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