I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry my hands just texted you
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize