i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
