fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
