she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
two words: eviction party
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Randomize
