They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
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