i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
