my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
