well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize