Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
why is half of my head shaved?
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