It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
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