how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
