i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Randomize
